There are many women out there who cannot. Some women are horrible recipients. Here's what I mean. I remember talking to a colleague of mine about a man I met at a restaurant who was happy to pick up the tab for dinner and a bottle of champagne. This wasn't that big a deal, and for him it was probably inconsequential. My colleague's immediate response was "Ha, what did he expect in return?" Maybe nothing, or maybe men don't seek validation in the same way that women (think they) do. It's not always about sex. I have to admit that her comment did give me pause and a bit of a complex for a brief moment though. It also reminded me that not a lot of women are used to being wooed and treated well. It makes them uncomfortable.
I have a friend who is currently dating four men- good for her! She isn't young, in fact she's well into her 40s, and she isn't a supermodel either. She just outgoing and knows her worth. She's not sleeping with any of them and they are happy to call her and send her gifts to her home and work. They also all probably sense a competition between them- men have a way of sensing that. I have other friends with boyfriends that have grown comfortable in their relationships so the idea of someone sending flowers, candy, or buying dinner, is just something they can't fathom.
I understand why this is too. This isn't easy and I struggle with it also. Women don't want to feel obligated to a man. We are lead to believe that we can and are supposed to do it all on our own and "accepting" belies a certain level of vulnerability.
If you want to have success in relationships you have to be willing to accept what it is that he is willing to offer. If he has nothing or is unwilling to offer you anything, then that should be a sign.
2 comments:
thank you SO MUCH for this--i struggle with this mindset and you were speaking directly to me.
confirmation received.
I'm happy that the message resonated with you Lesa :-)
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