As I stated in last week’s post about the documentary Miss Representation:
Society places an inordinate amount of pressure on women about the way they look, their age, where and who they should be in life and just about everything else. We are also often given very conflicting messages about these very same issues.
I feel like the pressure also comes from other women with their own agendas too. Like society, some feminist minded women like to box women in to a limited set of parameters and choices that measure up to their equally narrow vision of womanhood. It’s almost as if women today have less freedom to self define themselves. We are pulled in many different directions and it can be confusing and frustrating. Hard to hear your voice amongst all the noise.
Repeat after me:
- There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married.
- There is nothing wrong with wanting (or even needing) someone special in your life, as long as it is, hopefully, a healthy want or need.
- There is nothing wrong with wanting a man who brings something to the relationship table.
- There is absolutely nothing wrong with having standards.
- There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a mother, after all it is one of the most important jobs in the world. And if you are at a certain time in your life it’s normal to have an urgency about it.
- There is nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty.
- There is nothing wrong with wanting to appear feminine and using it to your advantage.
This does not make you pathetic, less than, brainwashed, or a sell out. You are doing something with your life- it just might not be someone else’s definition. You define your own ambition. Once you can be honest about your needs and wants, free from other people’s opinions or objections, you can really do the work needed to achieve the life that you want.
You are your own woman; therefore, you don’t really need my permission...but you have it anyway :-)