Single black women being urged to date outside race
By DeNeen L. Brown
Washington Post Staff Writer Thursday, February 25, 2010
“So many black women are single, she says, because they are stuck in the groove of a one-track song: sitting alone, waiting for that one "good" black man to come along and sweep them off their feet.”
Read the entire article here!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Complexion Obsession In Hip Hop
I really debated about whether or not to post this video/link. The DBRness is on full display. But if anything I think it's good that this is being exposed so that hopefully some women out there will wake up.
There's nothing being said here that we don't already know but, perhaps refuse to acknowledge.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Etiquette 101
This blogpost focuses on dinning etiquette. Youtube has proven to be an excellent resource for learning about appropriate etiquette so that you can mix and mingle among various groups of people. The complete playlist is available here.
But here are some highlights:
Dinning At A Five Star Restaurant
The information is out there, if you want it!
Friday, February 5, 2010
It’s Not About What He Says!
I’m tired of telling this to my girlfriends but, sometimes we women just don't want to hear it. So I'm hopeful that people will take heart here:
FOCUS ON WHAT A MAN DOES AND, NOT WHAT HE SAYS- UNLESS HE’S TELLING YOU THAT HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.
It’s not about what a man says but what he does. Actions speak louder than words and words should match actions.
What does that have to do with him telling you he doesn't want a relationship? It means that when he tells you that you should give him exactly what he wants- no relationship. REMOVE yourself from the situation. That means:
Cut your ties. You’re not his girlfriend, and he obviously doesn't want you to be, so you have no obligation to him.
If a man is serious about not wanting a relationship with you he won’t miss you. He won’t care that you’re no longer in his life. Save yourself some heartache and focus on people who do want you in their lives.
What if his words say he doesn't want a relationship but his actions say that he does? He's sending mixed signals...notice how his words aren't matching his actions! He's trying to have his cake and eat it too (i.e. having all the benefits of a relationship without actually having to call it a relationship) or string you along. The same rule applies here too- you must REMOVE yourself from the situation. If it turns out that he really does want to have a relationship he'll man up and step up to the plate to prove his interest but, only after you've moved on and away from him-men are funny that way. Even so, this type of behavior is immature. Do you really want to be with an immature man? Your time is too precious.
Bottom line: when a man tells you he doesn’t want or isn’t ready for a relationship BELIEVE HIM and ACT ACCORDINGLY.
FOCUS ON WHAT A MAN DOES AND, NOT WHAT HE SAYS- UNLESS HE’S TELLING YOU THAT HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.
It’s not about what a man says but what he does. Actions speak louder than words and words should match actions.
What does that have to do with him telling you he doesn't want a relationship? It means that when he tells you that you should give him exactly what he wants- no relationship. REMOVE yourself from the situation. That means:
- Don't call him.
- Don't return his calls.
- Don't text him.
- Don't try to break him down or trick him into dating you.
- Don't "hang out" with him.
- Don't try to get into his head and figure him out.
- DON'T COMPLICATE YOUR EMOTIONS BY HAVING SEX WITH HIM!
Cut your ties. You’re not his girlfriend, and he obviously doesn't want you to be, so you have no obligation to him.
If a man is serious about not wanting a relationship with you he won’t miss you. He won’t care that you’re no longer in his life. Save yourself some heartache and focus on people who do want you in their lives.
What if his words say he doesn't want a relationship but his actions say that he does? He's sending mixed signals...notice how his words aren't matching his actions! He's trying to have his cake and eat it too (i.e. having all the benefits of a relationship without actually having to call it a relationship) or string you along. The same rule applies here too- you must REMOVE yourself from the situation. If it turns out that he really does want to have a relationship he'll man up and step up to the plate to prove his interest but, only after you've moved on and away from him-men are funny that way. Even so, this type of behavior is immature. Do you really want to be with an immature man? Your time is too precious.
Bottom line: when a man tells you he doesn’t want or isn’t ready for a relationship BELIEVE HIM and ACT ACCORDINGLY.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
"Don't Bring Home A White Boy" Is Out NOW!
February is shaping up to be a good month for reading! Another MUST READ book for women interested in interracial dating and living on their own terms is out today! Karyn Langhorne Folan's Don't Bring Home A White Boy is now available in your favorite bookstores. Buy it today! To read the book's summary and to purchase your copy click here.
*ADDENDUM 02/28/10. I just finished reading my copy! Superb! There's nothing else to say about this book except that it is superb. Folan challenges every misconception about interracial dating out there and questions where these beliefs originate and why we are still holding onto them. This is a must read for single AA women!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Relationship coach and Rules Girl, Jag Carrao (@maliburulesgirl) has put together this great post about red flags you should be on the lookout for when dating online.
"How to avoid the disappointments and aggravation of online dating? Girlfriends, you know what I’m talking about: the “no-show” flakes, the chronic complainers, the promising first couple of dates that lead nowhere? The answer is all in selection.
Signing up for online dating can be a little like learning to surf. The Internet offers up plenty of men to meet. The ocean offers up endless waves to ride. Pick the wrong ones and you’ll waste time and energy, occasionally suffering wipeouts which can leave you dazed, distracted and dispirited when the right man or wave comes along.
Fortunately, men will signal their intentions and level of interest, usually in their very first e-mail. You just need to know what to look out for. My goal for the women I coach is to go from receiving a few dozen e-mails a month to a few hundred, at which point weeding out the unsuitable and the unserious becomes of paramount importance. So here are some of the most obvious online dating “flags” I suggest you use to steer clear of players and time-wasters..."
To read this post in full, click here.
"How to avoid the disappointments and aggravation of online dating? Girlfriends, you know what I’m talking about: the “no-show” flakes, the chronic complainers, the promising first couple of dates that lead nowhere? The answer is all in selection.
Signing up for online dating can be a little like learning to surf. The Internet offers up plenty of men to meet. The ocean offers up endless waves to ride. Pick the wrong ones and you’ll waste time and energy, occasionally suffering wipeouts which can leave you dazed, distracted and dispirited when the right man or wave comes along.
Fortunately, men will signal their intentions and level of interest, usually in their very first e-mail. You just need to know what to look out for. My goal for the women I coach is to go from receiving a few dozen e-mails a month to a few hundred, at which point weeding out the unsuitable and the unserious becomes of paramount importance. So here are some of the most obvious online dating “flags” I suggest you use to steer clear of players and time-wasters..."
To read this post in full, click here.
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