As mentioned previously I do not like to discuss BM on this blog. Nonetheless I found this discussion on another blog and thought it was interesting...
Here’s Blair Underwood’s response to the “backlash” he faced from black fans after he appeared on Sex And The City:
"Underwood, the first African-American actor to join the sitcom’s predominantly white cast, played Miranda Hobbs’ boyfriend, Dr. Robert Leeds - a role which he claims didn’t meet the approval of some fans. But the Dirty Sexy Money star insists his female fans relented after learning he has been married to Desiree DaCosta, a black woman, for 13 years.
He says, ‘In terms of the black female audience, usually in your body of work if you’ve proven that you love your sisters and will come back home, they will give you a pass when you jump ship. I hear it all the time. I heard, “We’ll get you a pass because we know you’re married to a black woman."
Source
Hmmmmmm. I have my own ideas about this statement but I’d like to hear what you think.
Happy Memorial Day!
13 comments:
Interesting...We have to stop thinking in terms of giving a "pass" to someone in the Black community...Let them earn accolades for quality of work and the lives lived...Thanx for bringing this article and spreading the word about the book
: )
I remember his stint on "Sex and the City". I had no problem with him in the role of Miranda's love interest. I will never understand why bw still get so worked up over seeing bm with wm even when it's not a real relationship(portrayed in movies, tv shows, music videos, etc.). Are we insane?
But, what I found interesting was that he was the only good looking love interest Miranda(Cythia Nixon who isn't anything to look at)ever had on the show.
The situation bought to mind, a former wf friend I had who only dated bm. She said that she loved good looking men and she often complained to me that she couldn't get really attractive wm to date her. So, she dated good looking bm instead because they were more willing to over look the fact that she wasn't good looking. She knew her whiteness was all she needed to get them interested, oh yeah, and she had a really big butt too.
@HBG it really is interesting what people will admit to you once they feel comfortable and under the guise of being cool. Sometimes really reveal their racism and sense of white supremacy.
What irks me about this statement is the idea of coming home. That I can take you and your loyalty for granted as long as I throw you a few bones every now and then. I think this statement is symptomatic of what ails the “BC” in regard to BW- which really at this point shouldn’t be a surprise to any of us.
"I think this statement is symptomatic of what ails the “BC” in regard to BW- which really at this point shouldn’t be a surprise to any of us."
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Zabeth,
I understand and I agree. But, I really feel it's time that bw got over this feeling of betrayal when we see bm and ww together, in whatever form. It's time for us to focus on who wants to be with us.
Besides, most of us are not going to get a chance to date Blair Underwood(I did meet him in person once, years ago and I was surpised that he wasn't that tall). So, who cares about what celebrities do, must of them are idiots anyway.
The statement was interesting. The fact that he said it or felt he had to is really interesting to me. Unfortunately it is a true statement for many bw. I pray it changes. I could care less about what celebs do. Unfortunately it appears that ignorant people insist on defining bw by what these nutty people say and do.
LOL.....this is scary...I was going to post about this as well...I'm glad you beat me to it !
What irks me about this statement is the idea of coming home. That I can take you and your loyalty for granted as long as I throw you a few bones every now and then. I think this statement is symptomatic of what ails the “BC” in regard to BW- which really at this point shouldn’t be a surprise to any of us.
DS on point but so very true. BW take it to heart as if bm choices affect us directly. Denzel Washington has contributed much of his succes to his bw fan base. Supposedly he goes out of his way to make sure that his love interests are women of color instead of the usual Becky standbys.
BW really need to wake up, it was only acting and they need to 'get their own man'. Why are they still waiting for BM to toss them a few bones... and life is going on! Madness!
To be honest, I have never understood why bw are so bound by black men. This whole notion of 'coming back home' gives me the creeps. I will admit I have never looked at black men collectively as intimate life partners. I've always liked non-bm but I have dated bm out of a distorted sense of loyalty and not being very happy when I did. I was wasting these men's time as well as my own. I have listened to bw get into crazy fits over bm dating non-bw.
I am convinced it is social conditioning, this obsession and anger is not due to a biological innateness of bw being naturally drawn to bm NO MATTER WHAT THE COST TO THEMSELVES. Women from other groups do not seem to suffer this on such a large grand scale as black American women. If black women were more prosperous in terms of social respectability, I don't think they would cling to bm as the last thing they can count on.
At the end of the day no matter how much evidence is shown to bw, some will just stay behind and will purposely stew in their own bitter juices while life passes them by because they're dangerously fixated on bm's lives instead of their own.
Sad but true. When we die no one, including bm, will be with us. We will die alone. As I grow older I do not plan on having any regrets. I refuse to wait around for any man, especially dysfunctional ones. To place my bets on bm as my only option is stupid. There is a large pool of men out there of all races. Find one of the good ones and have fun. It is a bit harder at my age. Get him while you are young if you can. Never settle for stupid men that will drag you into the ground. Stay by yourself until you find an honorable man that you can be proud to walk alongside. if a woman feels that she is only worthy when a bone is thrown at her from time to time she really needs to take a long look at herself and ask herself why does she do this. Please enjoy yourselves and expand your pool of men to check out. Believe me when I tell you that I have and I plan on having a good time on the journey. At my age most of the decent men are already married (my goal in relationships). However I will keep my hopes up and my pool huge:)
Pamela,
You sound like a very intelligent positive bw and I hope you find someone just as wonderful as you appear to be. I too don't want to have any regrets as I get older.
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Jazine,
I can relate. I too was always attracted to non-bm but for some years dated bm out of racial obligation which made me very unhappy. But, I'm my own women now and I don't feel I have to answer to anyone but myself.
I just refuse to be miserable. Anyone that expects you to only date bm does not really care about your happiness a desires. Why pay attention to anyone that you know could care less about how you feel or what you want????
Also notice how bm tell bw to hold out for bm to so called get their heads straight and come back to bw (after dating and going after white and other non-bw). How we should accept them. But yet if we dated wm or other non-bm they don't want to accept us. They consider us sell-outs to the race etc.
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